Monday, February 7, 2011

Food Snob

I have become known as the "food snob" at work.

No one is safe.

It can be assured that if you are eating in the lunchroom, you will be judged. It is not something that I'm proud of, but I can't help myself. There is always a cocktail of scents wafting through the hallways, and at various times during the day, I find myself lurking, watching, waiting for my next victim.

"Whatcha having?"

Judgement seeps out of my pores as I hear rumblings of various fast food chains. Less judgement seeps when I hear the local grocery store sandwich, and even less, (but still some) when I see homemade leftovers.

Not even your leftovers are safe.

Sure, I give you a B for effort, that you put some blood, sweat and tears into your meal, that a tyson precooked breaded chicken filet I see peeping out of that.....*gasp*......RAGU sauce and mozzarella?!?!? C - . NEXXXXT!

I might walk around the table, (clockwise) with a plastic fork and do a little tour de lunch. Inspection time! Sometimes I'm impressed. Most often, I have no trace of lunch envy. Nope, not even when they have Chirashi, Reubens, or Tacos. (ok fine....maybe a little when the buffalo chicken pizza is passed around.) You may equate my grilled chicken with baby spinach salad to the likes of Ben Stein, (.....Bueller?) but shame on you for doubting my tastebuds.

I'll let you in on a little secret about my lackluster legumes...I have THE HOLY GRAIL. I have perfected the recipe for an authentic asian ginger salad dressing. You know, the orange stuff. The stuff that you secretly find yourself sipping when the waiter or bespectacled couple next to you isn't looking at your favorite sushi joint.

Fear not: the long list of ingredients below include many that are probably hiding in the crevices of your fridge.

-1/2 Cup minced onion
-1/2 cup peanut oil
-1/3 cup rice vinegar
-2 tablespoons water (I know you have that!)
-2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
-2 tablespoons minced celery (ehhh, this isn't too necessary)
-2 tablespoons ketchup (Fun fact: this is how the dressing gets it's orange color. Not from carrots and ginger! Who knew?!)
-4 teaspoons soy sauce (less sodium, people...what happened to your new years resolutions?!)
-2 teaspoons sugar
-2 teaspoons lemon juice
-1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
-1/2 teaspoon salt
-1/4 teaspoom fresh ground black pepper

Throw those beasts into a food processor and, viola!



  1. So excited for the ginger dressing... although I think you're the only person I know who drinks it out of the bowl :)

  2. Your sister drank hundreds of those little coffee creamers when she was a wee one.